Monday, April 20, 2009

Like Mother, Like Daughter?

Is it inevitable? Do we even have a choice of whether or not we turn into our parents? Lately I've been having these odd sort of Deja Vu moments, but not the kind where you think you've done this before; the kind where you've seen someone else do it. Namely, my mother!

The older I get (not that I'm old by any means!) the more I notice I'm saying and doing things that I never thought I would - things that my mother always said and did. This genetic "copycat" behavior has even penetrated into the littlest of things, like what I do when I rinse my fingers at the sink, how I say certain things and what I do when I'm on the phone.

When I was a teenager, I was (or I tried to be) the opposite of my mom, but things changed when I grew up, and now my mother is also my friend. That was a little weird for me at first, and sometimes it still doesn't seem natural, but I'm getting used to it! However, the more I "get to know her", the more I'm realizing I'm just like her!

I can't help but wonder how much of this we have control over. Are we genetically predisposed and/or environmentally predisposed to become our parents, or is it a choice we subconsciously make? In my opinion, it is completely genetic/environmental because we do it without even realizing that we are copying our parents' behaviors.

I guess I should take a good, long look at my mother and resign myself to the fact that slowly but surely, I am becoming just like her! Don't get me wrong, my mom is great, and she has many admirable qualities. I just never thought that all of the little things she says and does would someday be my little things as well!

Like mother, like daughter and like father, like son. How far does it go back? When I copy my mom's way of rinsing her fingers, is that how her great, great grandmother did it too? I wonder if she has noticed the little behaviors that her mother passed down to her...

To answer my first question, I guess it is inevitable. There are just certain things we cannot change, no matter how hard we try! And when I have a daughter of my own, she will find herself shocked at the fact that she is caught in the cycle as well - she'll probably rinse her fingers differently too, and doodle the same word over and over again while she is on the phone. She may never even realize that those actions are not her own!

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